No witty comments. Just thought you should watch:
The brilliant and politically relevant GOP Chairman Michael Steele has uncovered another societal downfall that gay marriage will bring:
Now all of a sudden I’ve got someone who wasn’t a spouse before, that I had no responsibility for, who is now getting claimed as a spouse that I now have financial responsibility for. So how do I pay for that? Who pays for that? You just cost me money.
Chairman Steele made this statement to a group of true believers at a state GOP convention in Georgia. We here at the GGRU project completely agree with Chairman’s Steele’s statement. He is absolutely right. In fact, we believe that in these dire economic times, small business owners need to be protected from all unexpected costs. There should be a temporary ban on all marriages until we rescue the economy. Small business owners should not have to live up to their obligations to support families unless they budgeted for it 10 years ago.
If The Gays get their way, every male employee who is still single will jump at the chance to marry their best friend or roommate. There will be an overnight increase in health care costs associated with dependent spouses. Never you mind that a civilized society is supposed to support committed relationships and that money spent on health care or other benefits will be returned through a healthier population and increased employee output. Please ignore the fact that no one stops your Christian coworkers from fathering 12 children, who all get put on the company health insurance. Society can’t afford change. We’ve got real bills to pay!
A press release was just sent to us by a former New York City doctor (he had to choose his faith over his practice, obviously). He now lives in Los Banos, CA where he is assisting in the most recent concept and construction for a personal version of the Giant Gay Repellent Umbrella. The heavily guarded Los Banos division of the GGRU Project has produced this prototype which is being seriously investigated and considered for nationwide distribution (if proven successful and effective) by the National Organization for Man Lady Marriage. These personal versions may have to be sufficient protection until we can get the Giant Gay Repellent Umbrella built.
If you live in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont or Maine you will likely need one of these personal sized umbrellas immediately. To our fellow bigots in New Hampshire and New York, we can only hope your state legislators wise up and embrace the hatred they need to continue to deny the simple civil right of marriage to The Gays.
He sent us this exclusive photo of the prototype. The rainbow trimming on the tester’s clothing is obviously there to help attract more of The Gays so as to help prove the effectiveness of this personal version of the GGRU. So exciting!
So The Gays are now organizing and creating their own videos about the coming storm. This video seems to suggest that The Gays are normal and won’t flood our christian nation with their deviant ways.
Wait — are those babies? The Gays can make babies now?!?! In pairs?!?!
Please save us Maggie Gallagher and NOM!
So it appears that work has already begun on the design and function of the umbrella. Fox News has an early prototype in development and a reader has submitted a picture of how it works.
Look at how well it protects you from all of The Gays.
So yet another hysterical parody of NOM’s “Gathering Storm” ad has been made and it ended with this clever domain name. Strangely enough, Funny or Die didn’t register the domain. So I decided it was worth setting up just to keep the conversation going – FOR Gay Marriage.
Here’s the parody:
So what should we do with this domain? Comments or suggestions?