A press release was just sent to us by a former New York City doctor (he had to choose his faith over his practice, obviously). He now lives in Los Banos, CA where he is assisting in the most recent concept and construction for a personal version of the Giant Gay Repellent Umbrella. The heavily guarded Los Banos division of the GGRU Project has produced this prototype which is being seriously investigated and considered for nationwide distribution (if proven successful and effective) by the National Organization for Man Lady Marriage. These personal versions may have to be sufficient protection until we can get the Giant Gay Repellent Umbrella built.

If you live in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont or Maine you will likely need one of these personal sized umbrellas immediately. To our fellow bigots in New Hampshire and New York, we can only hope your state legislators wise up and embrace the hatred they need to continue to deny the simple civil right of marriage to The Gays.

He sent us this exclusive photo of the prototype. The rainbow trimming on the tester’s clothing is obviously there to help attract more of The Gays so as to help prove the effectiveness of this personal version of the GGRU. So exciting!

So it appears that work has already begun on the design and function of the umbrella. Fox News has an early prototype in development and a reader has submitted a picture of how it works.

(Click to make bigger)

Look at how well it protects you from all of The Gays.