Early Prototype
So it appears that work has already begun on the design and function of the umbrella. Fox News has an early prototype in development and a reader has submitted a picture of how it works.
(Click to make bigger)
Look at how well it protects you from all of The Gays.
Wow! Finally! I feel safer already.
But I don’t think FoxNews will need one, really. Aren’t they still in the desert looking for the WMDs they are still proclaiming are in Iraq?
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I actually created one of these umbrellas but I only had rainbow fabric. Now I have nothing but a bunch of gays underneath the umbrella with me. If I make eye contact, I will turn gay. I have been told that leaving a sparkle trail will distract the gays, but I have no sparkle-related items. Please help me!
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Great! What would make it even better would be to line the edges with teabags…two problems in one!
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I actually don’t like umbrellas, they’re too hazardous to pedestrians on crowded streets, and too easy to steal when left in a bucket.
Perhaps Gay-Repellent parkas and matching rain caps? I’m sure it would look wonderfully fabulous once the gays army begins dancing in the rain. I mean it would be like Flash-Dance choreography. It’ll be GOOD!
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We so could have done with one of these for our completely legal UK gay wedding … I hate it when other gays turn up to your party and try to out do you … this would have been ideal! God/Fox I think you have found a new off shoot market to sell to!!
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them gay people is everywhere, like a disease.
good for you for making them there gay repellent umbrellas.
how soon will they be ready to buy?
I have to get one for all the gay people I know and the hetero friends I have.
And one for my husband too!
All silliness aside, I strongly believe that marriage should be afforded to all, gay and straight alike.
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I wish I could help, but my experience is only in giant gay-repelling nets. haha This is great!
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Will this umbrella also protect me from foreigners?
I’m afraid of foreigners.
And people of different colours.
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Well, here in Spain we already have same-sex marriege since 2004, and this is a nightmare!! You can laugh as much as you like, but we didnt have this umbrella on time and now I have to watch all my friends being happy with their boyfriends while i’m still single!! I hate them so much… the worst part is that i have to go to at least 2 more weddings per year than before thanks to the stupid gay marriage, and it’s soooooo boring. i’m scared, please help us!!! Sorry about my english.
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I will not say one way or the other whether I will be on top of this umbrella or underneath it. If you try to ask me directly, I will make a joke or laugh maniacally and lick your face.
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the whole thing is a STUPID idea. It is a scientific fact that the gays LOVE umbrellas! If it was a cowboy storm would you hide in a giant boot!?! Of course not!! They’d just get in the boot when they hit the ground!!! Then you’d be trapped!!!
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im scared
what happens if boy george lands on me.
I need my umbrella asap!
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I have heard that if you stare directly into a rainbow, you will turn gay and all of your internal organs become glitter. Is this true, and if so, does the umbrella offer some sort of protection against rainbows?
I’ve been too afraid to look up ever since I heard of the Rainbow disease. I have actually had to position my computer underneath me in order to type this. Keep me in your prayers.
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I think you’re all stupid persons, gay people have never wanted to be as they are. For some it’s like a punishment. One of their dreams is to be like the other people, but they simply cannot. They have to deal with it everyday. They aren’t ill, they aren’t monsters, they aren’t devil, they are just different and I think that this difference come from the fact they’re human. It’s the most human thing to be gay ! As you can see, there are wery few gay animals and be straight comes directly from the animal, it’s just a reproduction drive which, in our society, becomes adult relationship. You should say “God doesn’t accept gay people” but the only thing he said is that we have the right to have sex only in order to have children, but I know that all of you have sex frequently and not to procreate. So just stop to be hypocrite, don’t disown people while you act like them and love each other, open your mind to the difference. I can swear that in some gay couple, there is even more love than in some straight weddings and in some case they would be very good parents because they really want to raise a child, and love him. Gays are like you. The difference don’t come from us, but just from you because you can’t accept things you can’t understand. I hope my words will be read and will help you to see that you are wrong. God save us.
A french student
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